I grew up reading and listening to a lot of personal development literature.
These videos often talked about a lot of high energy work done to accomplish your goals NOW! Reprogram your brain in 20 days! Reverse the negative belief in a 20 minute process. Remake your life over a weekend seminar. Etc.
Culturally as well, there was a lot of rhetoric that you are a failure if you don’t make it by your 20s. Never mind that you’re already a failure if you don’t choose to be a doctor.
All of these start with the assumption that there is something that is wrong with you. And you have to fix yourself–fast! You have to get to the finish last–right away! Or you’ll get left behind.
It tells you that life is a race. That you are either a winner or loser.
Taking your time, figuring things out (i.e. yourself more than anyone else), etc is considered a meandering path.
But consider the fact that most people don’t really step into true success until they’re in their 40s and 50s.
It turns out you need life experience to understand the world and yourself. It takes time to change your self image and identity into becoming the person you want to be.
That doesn’t happen easily. It takes time, effort. It takes practice. But I think more than anything it takes joy and gentleness.
Joy is the missing link to changing your identity. To remaking yourself. The harder you are on something, the more quickly you destroy it.
I don’t know why the path of gentleness has been ignored so much. Gentleness does not mean avoidance. Nor does it mean procrastination. It means being at the edge of exactly that which feels right to you. And going a step deeper when that feels better.
That is yoga in action.